I'm Not That Girl
by AlmightyHighElf
Summary: Lisanna tries to come to terms with her situation on Earthland in regards to Natsu and Lucy. Technically NaLu, but focuses on the feelings Lisanna has about the situation and the hardships she suffered during her time in Edolas. Takes place during the Tenrou Island arc.
1. Tenrou Island

A thousand thoughts raced through her mind as the youngest Strauss sibling watched as the blonde spirit mage began to run off after Natsu, Wendy, and the three Exceeds. She looked down at the ground, trying to figure out what she should do. Without deciding, she reached her arm out to grab the blonde.

"Lucy, wait!"

The spirit mage turned around, giving the young take-over mage a puzzled look. Lisanna looked down, once again not sure what to say. Finally, she spoke.

"Natsu… He…" She paused for breath as the celestial wizard stared at her in confusion. The young Strauss mulled over her words for a moment before forcing the warmest smile she could possibly muster. "Make sure you always stay close to Natsu. When the people he cares about are near him, Natsu gets even stronger."

"Okay!" The blonde returned her smile whole-heartedly before taking off once again.

Lisanna smiled after the other girl until she was well out of sight. The young white-haired mage felt the corners of her mouth twitch as the smile slowly left her face. She stood there for a moment longer, then silently turned on her heel to walk slowly into the jungle. Her pace sped up, her heart beat faster, her frown turned into a grimace, and before she knew it she was running full speed, trying to let the wind dry the water coming from her eyes.

After what felt like hours, but was in fact probably only a couple of minutes, she tired out and dropped to the ground at the base of a large palm tree. The youngest Strauss slumped against the trunk, staring up at the sky until it was too blurry to even differentiate the white clouds and the blue yonder. She then let her head hang, pulling her legs to her chest so that she could bury her face into her knees. She felt her whole body shake as she hugged her legs tightly. The tears she had been ineffectively trying to hold in came pouring out, dripping down her legs and onto the soft soil beneath her.

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Hey everyone!

I fully intended this to be a one-shot, but since I'm having some writer's block I figured I should turn it into a chapter story. Please note that these are going to be VERY short chapters, but I'll try to update frequently. It is a short story so it should be out pretty quick.

Thank you and make sure to post any comments, thoughts or suggestions!


	2. Edolas

Her mind went back to her time in Edolas- Those two long years that she had been away from the people she loved so much. She remembered how hard it was especially to see Natsu's face every day, only to realize that he never was and never would be the childhood friend she had fallen in love with. He was nice and he was sweet, but he was not _her_ Natsu.

She remembered that when she had stepped into Edolas's Fairy Tail for the first time, three unfamiliar faces – in addition to the ones she already knew- had greeted her with worried and jovial eyes. These three faces had been that of the Edolas versions of Wendy, Juvia, and Lucy. Lisanna did not have time when she first joined to speak with the familiar looking pink-haired boy as she was too caught up in reassuring her worried older 'siblings' and helping them feed the rowdy bunch. The young Strauss instead observed this world's Natsu from afar for a while, noting how different he was from _her_ Natsu back home.

Yet she could not help but feel her chest tighten whenever Lucy Ashley was around this alternate version of her childhood love. The aggressive blonde tried to hide her affection by continually berating and bullying the pink-haired boy, but Lisanna knew better- After all, it was the young Strauss who always had to protect this 'other' Natsu. She would look into the leather-clad blonde's eyes and scold her, and every time she saw a little bit of guilt in the brown orbs surrounded by a flushed face, which only grew more apparent as time passed.

The white haired girl distinctively remembered one night in the other Fairy Tail. In Edolas's Fairy Tail, since they were all fugitives, everyone slept in the same room- The second story of the old, oddly-shaped tree. They each had a sleeping matt scattered around on the floor, all crowded into each other with some closer than others. She smiled a little, remembering how Juvia would always moved hers around, yet every night, without fail, Gray's sleeping matt would always end up right next to the irritable blue-haired girl's. Lisanna herself was always surrounded on either side by her siblings who each had an arm over her, contented smiles plastered on their faces as they cuddled up with their 'younger sister'.

Then there was Lucy and Natsu. Lucy's mat would always be on the opposite side of the room of Natsu's when they all went to bed. However, one night, Lisanna woke from a particularly bad dream and instinctively looked over at the Natsu who had the same face of her childhood love. In an instant, all her grogginess faded as her brain registered what she was looking at.

Carefully hunched over Natsu, so as not to wake him, was Edolas's Lucy, her lips pressed gently to his own.

Of course somehow the more cowardly Natsu either had no idea and was sound asleep, or was just pretending to be that way out of fear of the aggressive blonde girl. Lisanna wanted to turn away, but for some reason, she could not avert her eyes. Sure, it was not _her_ Natsu, but because he had the same face it was still painful to see. After what seemed like an eternity, Lucy pulled away, settling next to the pink haired boy to fall asleep. Several hours later, Lisanna finally managed to follow suit.

The next morning, however, the white haired girl woke up to see that Natsu was alone and Lucy was once again on the opposite side of the room. She had tried to shake it from her head, telling herself that it was probably a continuation of the odd dream she'd had that night. When they all turned in the next night, however, she once again found herself awoken. This time, though, Lucy Ashley was simply sitting up next to the sleeping Natsu, studying his face carefully. Lisanna let out a little gasp which she quickly tried to muffle, but was apparently too late as the blonde looked up in shock. For a moment, the two stared at each other, sharing nothing but silence between them. Finally, the whip-wielder sighed and smiled a little. She stood up, carefully navigating the sea of sleeping Fairy Tail bodies, finally sitting down next to Lisanna.

"I guess I've been caught," chuckled the brown-eyed girl.

Lisanna awkwardly sat up herself, not really sure how to respond. She looked down and twiddled her fingers a bit before looking over to the other girl and forcing a small smile. "I… I kind of had a feeling" she said softly.

Lucy turned beet red and laughed quietly. "It… It's kind of a relief, to be honest. I've always wanted to tell someone, but I felt like I didn't have the right to just because… because of this world we live in. It just doesn't seem like the kind of place where you should be allowed to… to fall in love."

Even in the cool darkness, Lisanna could see the blonde girl's face quickly darken in color at this last part. The white-haired girl bit her bottom lip, not sure what to say. They sat quietly for a few moments, Lucy smiling awkwardly and Lisanna twiddling her thumbs. Finally, the latter spoke.

"Why… Why me? Why are you opening up to me about this?"

Lucy's lips pursed into a contemplative pout as she stared up at the ceiling. "I guess… I guess I just feel comfortable telling you. Like, somehow, you understand. I don't know how to explain it, but I just can't shake this feeling that you get it… Ya know?"

Lisanna looked away, thinking to herself _I do, more than you know…_ She looked back at the blonde, forcing another smile. "In that case, you can always talk to me about it. I'd be happy to listen!" She wondered how believable this sounded, considering she knew she didn't believe it for even more than an instant. It must have been enough though, because the normally ill-tempered blonde grinned uncharacteristically and slapped the take-over mage on the back.

"Thanks Lisanna! You've always been a real sweetheart."

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had this chapter done and I thought the first one was a little boring by itself, so I figured I'd go ahead and upload it now. =)

Please review and let me know of any errors or anything! Thanks!


	3. Confiding

This is INSANELY short, but I figured it's been long enough that I should post it- I'm so sorry!

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Lisanna had definitely regretted telling her this, as it seemed like at least once a week she found herself up late listening to Lucy gush about Natsu. The youngest Strauss admitted that it was nice seeing this other side to the normally violent whip-wielder, and it would be a lie to say that she disliked the blonde (In fact she had grown fond of her in a way, despite how much it hurt to see even an alternate reality Natsu so close to another girl), but at the same time, it was painful. She knew he wasn't her Natsu, she knew she would probably never even see Natsu Dragneel again, and this made it all the more difficult to process.

It was even harder when she woke up one night to see Lucy sitting in her normal spot next to Natsu, with him sitting up next to her. He was smiling awkwardly while she had her normal angry look on her face- cheeks puffed out, arms crossed, turned away from Natsu- which just so happened to be sporting a thick blush. Lucy Ashley must have noticed the take-over mage out of the corner of her eye, because she turned to the young Strauss and winked, letting her fake pout briefly break into a smile.

Lisanna knew what this meant. It shouldn't have bothered her, it wasn't her Natsu. Jealousy was not the right term, as that had never been an emotion the white haired girl was even capable of. In truth, she really _was_ happy for the two of them. Yet, she could not help but let her thoughts wander to the pink-haired Dragon Slayer back in Earthland…

Which had made what happened several days later that much harder.


End file.
